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Renee's Journal
~Nothing is ever the same~
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25th-Jun-2008 10:34 pm - Winter



Tony's POV.

blissful unawareness that the crystalline beauty, lying in layers on the ground brought about. A subconscious though of eternal peace. Breath taking beauty, causing a flutter in the pits of your stomach. The winter was a taunting season, making you think that all is well in the world. Only to become bitterly reminded by the biting coldness that soaks into your body the moment you waltz into the surreal scene. As if you were never meant to cross that barrier from the confides of your home to the wilderness that looked dormant, begging to take that one step. I liked the winter though. It portrayed the way I felt, the way I am. Something to look at, to admire from afar, not to get close to. Not unless you were ready for the chilling realization that my demeanor, just as the winter, was a facade that betrayed nothing of what I feel inside. Numbingly cold, hauntingly empty. That is what I feel, that is what I am. No one can get close to me without being frost-bitten. Manipulating people, making them think what I plan them to think, their actions that I anticipate, the rush I get. If I can't be happy why do any of them deserve to be? I've only felt true happiness a limited amount of times in my life. Twice when I was little, can barely remember those times. The third or fourth time (not sure which one)and so on were because of him. When he smiled, threw his head back, hair falling into his face. The pure look of concentration, determination when he dances. He manipulates too, just in a different way. He manipulates his own moves. Every turn, twist, gesture. Always content, calm and calculating. He's graceful and full of life, something I'm not, something I pretended to be but never would be. This he knew and he shared it with me, TLC you'd say. He's the closest thing in my life that has brought me any remote amount of utter, true happiness. He's the Summer to my Winter, and over and over I must remind and warn myself 'Get to close to the sun and you'll get burnt.'



First slash fic but hopefully not the last. Helpful critisism is widely appreciated and if more is wanted then I'll try my best.
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